Dwight is my Homeboy

...not really, but I think he's possibly the funniest thing going on TV right now. And Jim is the perfect character to play pranks on him every week. If I didn't work with such serious people, I'd definitely try and put someone's stapler in some jello or move their desk into the bathroom. But alas, I work with a bunch of folks that would not get the humor in that at all...consultants. Yeah, the type that thinks CAPM is as important as the Theory of Relativity. These are the type of people that actually understand the airline pricing structure. These people I work with actually think its efficient to write a 150 page paper with 8 other people that don't know each other. Unfortunately I'm one of them.

So, I can't play office pranks, but I would looooove to! So watch out friends and family, I'm in the prank mood again. A couple of years ago I had Samuel L. Jackson call 36 people in my cell phone list to personally invite them to "Snakes on a Plane". And I think it was last year that Kermit the Frog asked me if he could call David and Liesl early in the morning to wake them up for the After-Thanksgiving sales at Target. The Office is inspiring me to engage in harmless shenanigans again soon - watch out. :)

I used to not be able to watch The Office, because it reminded me too much of real life. Not quite art imitating life, but it still made me uncomfortable to come home from the office and flip on the television to see a show where the painful satire is based on a series of performance reviews and who would be the one to get voted out of the office during a downsizing.

However, now that I've found the goodness of Dwight P. Schrute, who reminds me of so many people that I've had to work with (and still do), I can't help but love this show.

Jim, the only guy with half a brain in the office, tortures Dwight with a weekly prank. Take a few to watch this collection of Jim's greatest pranks:



Earlier in the year, John McCain declared on the Daily Show that he would be nominating Dwight Schrute as his VP running mate. Rainn Wilson, the genius actor behind Dwight, showed up on Jay Leno to give his demands for acceptance. I found his acceptance letter online and had to share it here:

My fellow Americans and select Canadians,

My name is Dwight K. Schrute. Recently, it was brought to my attention that a Presidential candidate has selected me as his Vice President — or as I prefer, Assistant President. I was not surprised by this information, because I am the only suitable choice. As this country’s second in command, I will be cunning; wily; exceedingly loyal to my superiors; and will not hesitate to use heavy artillery. However, unlike my predecessor, I will not fire it off in a friend’s face.

As for Mr. Jonathan McCain: I will accept your offer, old man. But before I do, certain terms must be agreed upon.

• I may borrow Air Force One whenever I want. I am not required to refill the tank. When piloting Air Force One, I am only to be addressed as “Iceman.”


• Effective immediately, Jack Bauer is promoted to Secretary of Defense.


• I demand full government financing of research programs into the beet as an alternative energy source. Beet juice is cheaper than gasoline, better-tasting and only slightly flammable.


• My bunker must contain a foosball table and be zombie-proof.


• Secret Service members are to be armed with guns, nunchucks, throwing stars and flamethrowers.


• I would like a flamethrower.


• From now on, the National Anthem will be replaced with Van Halen’s “Panama.”


• My current employer, Michael Scott, has asked for an advisory position, a la Karl Rove. I am not adverse to this; however, it is not a deal-breaker. The rest of my coworkers are to be placed in an internment camp. And the entire city of Scranton should be surrounded by a wall and converted into a futuristic prison.


• I want to see an eagle fight a falcon. Whoever survives is our nation’s mascot.


• No more tours of the White House. I distrust schoolchildren.


• All pictures of Abraham Lincoln are to be removed. He is creepy.


• J.K. Rowling should be required by law to write a new Harry Potter book. If she refuses, I advise torture.


• All of the above items are negotiable. Except for the flamethrower. Basically, if you get me a flamethrower, I’m on board.

In conclusion, I consider it an honor and a privilege to serve the American people. I will display complete loyalty to my President. I will take a bullet for him and even provide a quality foot massage. But if, say, Barack Obama values that loyalty more highly … I’m going wherever they value loyalty the most. Make me an offer. And America — at 3 a.m., when the phone rings in the White House … I won’t even hear it. I’m an extremely sound sleeper. Vote Schrute!

Dwight K. Schrute

Assistant President in Pending

Cc: Michael Scott, John McCain